Is This Really It? What I Wish I Knew Freshman Year
From work hard, play hard, to the question that changed everything.
By Ethan Lim, Rutgers PharmD '24
Coming into college, I knew I had to do well. As a stereotypical Asian kid, academics were non-negotiable, of course. But college also meant freedom, and after years of being told what to do, I was ready to do what I wanted to do.
My motto was simple: work hard, play hard.
Working hard summed up in three words: passing organic chemistry. I proved to myself that I could handle school. So naturally, I felt like I had earned the right to play even harder.
And "playing hard" looked like what I imagined college was supposed to be: packed shoulder-to-shoulder parties, laughing it up with large friend groups, 2am RU Hungry runs, drinking, smoking, and saying yes to whatever would make a good story. And honestly? It was fun.
Until I sobered up.
Every Monday, reality came back. I felt like I had to work even harder to maintain the GPA I had already proven I could get. And somehow, I felt like I had to work just as hard socially to stay relevant, stay cool, and stay accepted.
Then COVID hit.
College Ave. was empty, but my friends and I were still living together. Without parties and distractions, we had a lot more time to think. And I started noticing something: we had everything college told us to get, yet we were still anxious, depressed, and deeply unsure why we were doing any of it.
On paper, we had it made. Yet we each quietly wondered, "Is this really it?"
I don't wish this on anyone, but we ALL hit a point where our usual answers stop working. For me, that was junior year. For you, it might be now, or years from now.
The question isn't whether you'll hit a low point. It's what you'll do when you do.
Here are three things that got me through:
1. Ask the big questions.
Is there a God? Is there really eternal life? What does God have to say about the purpose of my life?
They're easy questions to shrug off, because college gives you a thousand more interesting things to think about in the now. But considering the answers to these questions will change. your. life.
As C.S. Lewis puts it in Mere Christianity, "If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."
Honestly, I first started coming to Campus Light to appease my mom, who had been trying to get me back to church, and COVID gave me the time to actually check it out. But exploring Christianity helped explain why I could have good grades, good friends, and good experiences… and still feel empty and wanting. I discovered that my life wasn't ultimately about maximizing experiences or achievements. I had been made for something bigger.
2. Find people to do life with.
Living according to what you believe is hard. Friends, trends, family expectations, and the pressure to fit in can pull you in a hundred different directions.
To stay the course, I realized I needed people who would walk with me every day. People ahead of me who could mentor me, and people behind me who I could mentor. For me, that was Campus Light. Don't try to figure out life alone, especially if you're reading this and thinking you've got it.
3. Commit for the long haul.
If you discover something you genuinely believe is true, don't treat it like a college phase or assume you have time to apply it later down the road. Life with Jesus lasts forever, but it also starts today. When I chose to take my faith seriously, it not only transformed my college years, it changed my vision for every future decade of my life too. I graduated in 2024, and I'm still here, now walking with students at Campus Light the way others once walked with me.
Don't settle for a life that's smaller than what you were made for.
If you're asking the big questions, we'd love to ask them with you. Find out where and when we meet at campuslight.org/connect.
Dr. Ethan Lim graduated from Rutgers University with his PharmD and now works as a manager in Medical Affairs at Daiichi Sankyo, Inc. and is a volunteer mentor at Campus Light. He loves to chat about how the gospel changed his life.
